By Norman Kissinger
I worked in the Department of
Corrections many years ago and worked with offenders with strong antisocial
personality disorder tendencies. I noticed that one of the issues they dealt
with was that they attempted to get every problem solved through their very
defined antisocial set of rules.
Their rules were very selfish, one
sided and dysfunctional but they could not solve any problem without referring
to that dysfunctional set of rules and expecting the world to play in the same
way.
Offenders are not lawless. Their
rules are so dysfunctional they do not work to solve life's problems. It is
much like having an old computer program and attempting to use it to run a
Fortune 500 company.
This creates a victim mentality
where a serial killer can justify his behavior and see himself as a victim.
Society is violating his rights because they are not playing by his rules. It may
blow your mind that somebody could justify that evil of behavior, but the
offenders do it all the time and they are at least sincere in that they truly believe
they are victims of a society that treats them unfairly.
Their dysfunctional set of rules protects
them from the truth and therefore functions as an old-time ego defense
mechanism. They certainly have no excuse for their behavior. The reason for
developing this rule system is to protect their ego and make it possible for
them to justify their behavior.
I would say we are no different
than them. Over a lifetime we develop our own set of rules on how life should
work and how we and everybody else should act and we attempt live a successful
life using that set of rules to work from.
The problem is it works no better
for us than it does for the offender. The only difference between us and them
is some of our rules are functional and social and therefore we can stay out of
prison but in a spiritual sense and in a lot of our interpersonal relationships
we do not have much better success.
There are hundreds of personal
rules that fit into this category but as an example many people on social media
brag on their personal rules such as speaking their mind and telling people the
truth. Another rule they live by, that is not often unconscious, is that they do
not allow other people to speak their mind to them. A system where I speak my mind,
but other people cannot speak back is not very functional. It is a recipe for a
lot of drama.
Success in life is not by so much changing
behavior and attitudes but taking a good hard look at the fundamental rules we
live by and deciding how truly functional they are.
But on a social level we see this
all the time. The modern humanistic world expects that everyone has the right
to live by their own set of rules and values and no one else should question
those.
Everyone shouts that their rules
and value systems should be respected and accepted by everyone, but those same
folks are completely unable to accept the value systems of others or to
tolerate them. A recipe for more drama.
The Christian has a unique mandate
in this matter. I have plenty of rules to live my life by but if Jesus is truly
Lord of my life and I am truly saved then those rules mean diddly squat.
What does my Lord say is right or wrong?
We have an entire manual of 66 books that deals with this and if I'm truly a
Christian I will use that manual every day and conform my set of rules to what
the Bible says are God’s set of rules.
When I talk to young people about whether
homosexuality, living together, taking drugs or any other behavior is right or
wrong it is really a pointless exercise. If Jesus is not Lord of your life and He
is not making the rules, then who cares if you are dating a turtle. Your life
rules are no more or less effective, acceptable, or valuable than mine. When
people speak of this what they are really saying is they want me to justify
their set of rules and for it to be OK with God.
I have a wonderful idea why do not ask
God what he wants. He makes it plain in His word what his rules are and if I am
truly his follower then I will follow what his word says. And if I'm not I'll
do whatever I feel like doing and I'll have to live with the consequences. As I
tell people now it's your life in your eternity you better spend it wisely.
It is delusional to live by my set
of rules and demand that everybody else consider them valid. It is also
delusional to expect God to be ok with that, like any other person he has his
own opinion, and He will not be used.
Good luck in your turtle dating. Or
what ever the new life rule is. Later, I may come by and see how that is
working for you as the famous TV psychologist says. But don’t expect God to
agree. He has His on set of rules to live by and He has as much right to them
as you or I.
Oh wait a minute, He is God, He might
have more right.
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