Secondly once you identify how you express anger…
2. STOP and THINK.
When you find yourself in a situation that could cause you to loose your temper ask these three questions:
1st Ask: Why am I angry?
Sometime the reason is not obvious but lies deep below the surface. Anger is not always the root problem but a symptom of a bigger problem. When little issues cause you to over react you might be dealing with residual anger. The pain and frustration of past events could be causing you to become angry over petty issues. At this point it is important to seek the guidance of a trained counselor, someone who can help you get to the core issue and encourage you to go to Christ for healing.
2nd Ask: Is it worth getting angry about?
Not everything that bothers you is worth expressing. It is important that you learn to pick your battles carefully.
3rd Ask: What do I really want out of this encounter? - When you think through it logically where do you want the situation to go?
one man wrote….I love email. I think email is great. When I get frustrated with someone or a situation I sit down and write an email describing the problem and the solution. Then I save it in my, “To be sent folder.” I leave it there and read it the next day. 9 times out of 10 I never send the email. Sometimes just writing things down and coming back to them the next day is all the resolution you need. Sometimes anger won’t bring about the result we are hoping for.
So once you have identified how you express anger and once you have thought about why you are angry…
3. Replace your anger. 31-32
31Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
When you are sick or have a virus the first thing you do is try to get rid of it. You might drink lots of fluids, get plenty of rest or take medications that will combat the effects. Paul is saying when you harbor anger inside do everything you can to get rid of it. Like a virus it wants to gain supremacy over your life but you need to do all you can to replace your anger with something more powerful.
What is the one thing that will help you get rid of your anger? FORGIVENESS
Learn to FORGIVE.
Forgiveness releases the person who has hurt you and gives the pain to God. Forgiving is not forgetting but it is letting go of the pain caused by another person or an event.
How can you learn to replace anger with forgiveness?
1. Believe that anger is a rational choice! People can provoke you to become angry but only you can stay angry. Anger in the end is a choice you have made.
2. Look to the Holy Spirit to empower you. Confess to God that you have not expressed you anger in healthy ways. List the different events where you allowed the situation to be out of control and ask God to forgive you. When you have agreed with God about where you need to change the Holy Spirit will become a strong force in your life for change.
3. Remember, Jesus forgave you!
Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.
Did you used to make ends meet by stealing? Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help others who can’t work.
Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.
Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.
Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
Proverbs 15 :1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
3 The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.
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